Monday, August 22, 2005

Historical moments in Lebanese political humor

It all started with a thread I opened on the Future Movement Forum titled To all FPM members who is Afif al Sandikly?...

Later this thread transformed to include funny things that happened in the Lebanese politics, so I have chosen to summarize these below:

  1. The famous Afif Al Sandikly or (Sandikly-Gate):
    During 7arb alta7rir period, a sheikh from western Beirut gave a speech in "Kasr A-Sha3b" in Baabda supporting General Aoun... The next day, it was uncovered that the so called sheikh was a military intelligence, and he was no sheikh.

  1. Rustom Ghazale Brothers getting MD and Law degrees from the Lebanese University without attending Classes.

  1. General Michele Aoun saying that he will NEVER EVER ally with Mur, and after two days he confirms this alliance.

  1. Rachid Solh addressing the journalists "I'm going to see my mom and will be back". He snuck out to Syria...

  1. Karim Pakradoni trying to explain the sex of angles...

  1. Walid Jumblatt's weird choice of words and elasticity...

  1. Najah wakim's "Sid Bouzak" while addressing Sanyora in the parliament...

  1. Michel Aoun's "Baddeh Kasserlo Rasso la Hafez El-Assad"

  1. Amin Gemayel beating Rasheed el solh in parliament

  1. Murr saying badna nakilon rason...

  1. Khitab al Kasam:-) the Biggest Joke ..

  1. Baha' ed-Deen Itani's first words in parliament... hehehe

  1. Elie El-Firzli's reliable attempts to prove that black can be white if you just add some fake poetic eloquence...

  1. Elias Hrawi slapping a journalist. (was it Faisal Salman?)

  1. President Bashir Gemayyel slapping Michel Murr.

  1. Election box found miraculously belonging to an Armenian kalam iktera3, where all ballots inside were for Rasheed Solh, thus gaining the nickname – Garabet

  1. Naser Kandil's Speeches (all of them) ... ...

  1. Maha i forgot her name winning a parliamentary seat with 54 votes in Jbeil

  1. Electricity going off in Kesserwan during counting of the ballots, while Fares Bweiz just happens to sneak in with some mysterious new votes

  1. Emile Emile Emile Lahoud withdrawing from the 2005 elections....... because of the election law

  1. Speaker Berri relation with the MPs as teacher and Students.. thus truly gaining the nick name "il-isteez"

  1. Hrawi asking Oldbright if she was pregnant:-)

  1. Hrawi kissing Claudia Sheifer on her mouth

  1. Franjie nominating himself a patriarch “we inta el batrak ya Slayman:

  1. Jameel el sayed portraying the innocent and suing himself

  1. Jameel el Sayed not resigning initially but “wade3 7alo bil tasorof” for a specific period of time:-)

  1. Nationality was given to some Syrians.. to vote for Murr ....

  1. We had Afandi in North, Hoss in Beirut, and Bizri in Saida

  1. During the war Lebanese Forces acting as collectors for Morabiton in East Beirut and Vice Verca where Morabiton acting as collectors for Lebanese Forces in West Beirut:-)

  1. To prevent My car from being stolen I used to:
    Tie the car with chains to the public lamp post
    Remove the steering wheel
    remove distributor cap
    Remove battery
    and still ... they stole the wheels:-)...

  1. White flower (kronfol) and unlit Cigar of saeb salam

  1. Muslim members of the “Majlis el difa3” while meeting with General Michele Aoun heard their own resignations on the radios:-)

  1. Based on his Father's salary .. Emile Lahoud Jr now owns among others a Ferrari and a 3 Million USD condo in Down town Beirut ..

  1. Gibran Bassil defending Franjie and Arslan relations with Syria by labeling them as “mabdaeeyeen”

  1. Rana Kolailat.. freed and out of the country 2 days before Adoum's resignation..

  1. Bank Le Madina:-)

  1. 200-year old Edmond Naim and Strida Geagea in the same parliamentary block. The guy will have high blood pressure at every meeting...

  1. Abu Jassem with the Beqa3ee koofieh, leading a demonstration of 5 people promising to wipe out the Martyr Square crowd...

  1. Adnan Arakji defying Saad el Hariri in Beirut 2 elections:-)

  1. Adnan Arakji storming to read al-Fatha at martyr's Hariri's grave.. bil oweh

  1. Omar's Karami's suing Future Movement for using his famous phrase "lal haqiqa" as a moto

  1. Gemayel family emphasizing that Lebanese are Phoenicians.. while they are of Egyptian decent....

  1. The famous made in Poland Puma Chopper:-)

  1. Kamal Chatila becoming pro-Syrian at the wrong time....

  1. Disappearance of the video tape showing who planted the bomb that was directed at Marwan Hmade

  1. Jumblatt calling Lahoud "wassakh"...

  1. Lahoud portraying the slaying of late PM hariri "razale"

  1. In 1990's Mkhayel El Daher sleeping as a president.. waking up a deputy

  1. Mikati standing next to previous Deputy Bahaa Itani

  1. Micho Murr calling Nassib Lahoud (and I quote) "the biggest symbol of Syria" because he was an ambassador in 1990.

  1. Condemned persons with death sentences against roam Lebanon freely (Tofaily and Abou el 3aynayn)

  1. Nayla mo3awad in martyrs Square saying "Farato Farato"

  1. General Aoun made a joke about the Asfour and Sabeh.

  1. Gibran Bassil learned how to count from 89 to 2005.

  1. General Aoun claiming that Shaikh Saad and Hariri Family met with Rustom Ghazale

  1. Jumblat calling Farnjie "Walad Sgheer”

  1. MP Salim Aoun acting as a vigilante and beating three Kataeb because they used foul language

  1. and last but not least

.. Madam wants Syria out

Update: 19 September 2005
59. when wajih baarini took his shoe (sebbato) off & raised it the afandi's face (omar Karami) & said: wlei sidd bouzak wlei


At 5:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You say: "200-year old Edmond Naim and Strida Geagea in the same parliamentary block. The guy will have high blood pressure at every meeting... "

That I can understand. If it were me, I'd have a heard attack!!!

At 9:52 AM, Blogger Delirious said...



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